Apologies! Your web browser lacks required capabilities. Please consider upgrading it or switching to a more modern web browser.
Initializing. Please wait…
<img src="hallway1.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This lengthy hallway stretches far to the ''north'' and ''south''.
The ''north'' end of the hallway terminates in a closed set of safety doors.
Many closed doors exist to the ''east'' and ''west''.
A pair of <<print $elevatordoors>> elevator doors exist on the ''west'' wall.
The walls are dotted with numerous ''research posters''.
--------
>[[examine research posters|either("poster 1","poster 2","poster 4")]]
>[[examine elevator door|elevator, hallway]]
>[[examine door, 205 Lewis|205 door]]
>[[examine door, 209 Lewis|209 door]]
>[[examine door, 210 Lewis|210 door]]
>[[examine door, 211 Lewis|211 door]]
>[[examine door, 212 Lewis|212 door]]
>[[examine door, 214 Lewis|214 door]]
>[[examine safety doors|safety doors]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="elevatorflyers.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You press your face up against the glass.
It looks like there's some sort of ID card stuck at the bottom of the case.
--------
<<if $flyerlock neq "open">>\
>[[attempt to open the case|elevator flyers open]]
>[[attempt to smash open the case|elevator flyers smash]]
<<else>>\
>[[open the case|elevator flyers opened]]
<<endif>>\
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]<img src="elevatorflyers.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You pound your fists fruitlessly into the case.
You suffer ''<<print 2+Math.floor(Math.random()*18)>>'' points of <<print either("loss","injury","harm","damage","debit","depletion","forfeiture","impairment","dispossession","privation","demotivation")>> to your ''<<print either("alacrity","verve","gumption","constitution","zeal","moxie","chutzpah","pep","fortitude","drive","motivation")>>''.
--------
>[[continue to smash the case|elevator flyers smash]]
>[[look more closely|elevator flyers examine]]
>[[attempt to open the case|elevator flyers open]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]<<if $elevatordoors == "closed">>\
<img src="elevatorclosed.jpg" class="th" />
<<else>>\
<<if $elevatorfloor == 2>>\
<img src="elevatoropen2.jpg" class="th" />
<<elseif $elevatorfloor == 0>>\
<img src="elevatoropeng.jpg" class="th" />
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
---------
You are in an elevator.
On the west wall, a ''glass case'' boasts ''a variety of flyers and posters''. On the south wall, above a ''panel of buttons'', a glowing red light reads <<if $elevatorfloor neq 0>>''<<print $elevatorfloor>>''.<<else>>''G''.<<endif>>
<<if visited() == 1>>\
There is a gentle *ding* and you feel a rush of deceleration as the elevator slows to a stop, opening ''east'' into a hallway.
<<else>>\
<<if $elevatorfloor is 2 or $elevatorfloor is 0>>\
The doors open ''east'' into a hallway.
<<elseif $elevatorfloor is 1>>\
The elevator doors open to a barricade of boxes and furniture that blocks your exit entirely.
<<elseif $elevatorfloor is 3>>\
The elevator doors twitch halfheartedly, but ultimately do not open.
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
--------
>[[examine elevator buttons|elevator buttons]]
>[[examine case of flyers|elevator flyers]]
<<if $elevatorfloor is 2>>\
>[[head east into hallway|lewis hallway, upper][$elevatordoors="closed";$playerfloor=2]]
<<elseif $elevatorfloor is 0>>\
>[[head east into hallway|lewis hallway, lower][$elevatordoors="closed";$playerfloor=0]]
<<endif>>\
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="elevatorflyers.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The case is locked. <<if $inventory.indexOf("lockpick") eq -1>>\
You would need some form of crowbar to pry it open.
<<else>>\
You could probably try to pick the lock with that lockpick you made out of a paperclip.
<<endif>>\
--------
>[[look more closely|elevator flyers examine]]
>[[attempt to smash the case|elevator flyers smash]]
<<if $inventory.indexOf("paperclip") neq -1>>\
>[[fold your paperclip into a lockpick|paperclip fold]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("lockpick") neq -1>>\
>[[attempt to pick the lock|elevator flyers pick]]
<<endif>>\
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]<img src="205door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The door is locked.
--------
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<<if $playerfloor == 0>>\
<<if $elevatordoors == "closed">>\
<img src="elevatorclosedgin.jpg" class="th" />
<<elseif $elevatordoors == "open">>\
<img src="elevatoropengin.jpg" class="th" />
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
--------
The elevator doors are \
<<if $elevatorfloor is $playerfloor>>\
<<print $elevatordoors>>\
<<elseif $elevatorfloor neq $playerfloor>>\
closed\
<<endif>>, and the red number above the doorframe reads \
<<if $elevatorfloor neq 0>>\
''<<print $elevatorfloor>>''.\
<<else>>\
''G''.\
<<endif>>
--------
<<if $elevatordoors is "closed">>\
>[[call elevator|elevator, hallway][$elevatordoors="open";$elevatorfloor=$playerfloor]]
<<elseif $elevatordoors is "open">>\
>[[enter elevator|elevator, up]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $playerfloor is 3>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, uppest]]
<<elseif $playerfloor is 2>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]
<<elseif $playerfloor is 1>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, low]]
<<elseif $playerfloor is 0>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]
<<endif>>\<img src="209door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The door is locked.
--------
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="210door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The door is locked.
--------
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="211door.jpg" class="th" />
-------
A slip of paper taped on this ''westward-facing'' door reads "Please knock and then enter."
<<if visitedTag("upperdoor")>>\
To your great surprise, this door is ''not locked''.
<<endif>>\
--------
>[[knock and enter 211 Lewis|211 office][$knock=1]]
>[[enter 211 Lewis without knocking|211 office][$knock=0]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="212door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This pair of white double doors looks like it leads to some sort of storage closet.
Unsurprisingly, the door is locked.
--------
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="214door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The door is locked.
--------
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="poster1.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This poster talks about metal-organic frameworks as materials for CO~~2~~ capture.
--------
>[[examine another research poster|poster 2]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="poster4.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This poster talks about the research focuses of the "Long Group". Huh.
It says that they do work on metal-organic frameworks, molecular magnetism, catalysis, and charge transport in porous materials.
--------
>[[examine another research poster|poster 1]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="elevatorbuttons.jpg" class="th" />
--------
There are a plethora of buttons for you to choose from.
A glowing red light above the panel reads \
<<if $elevatorfloor neq 0>>\
''<<print $elevatorfloor>>''.\
<<else>>\
''G''.\
<<endif>>
--------
>[[3rd floor|elevator, up][$elevatorfloor=3]]
>[[2nd floor|elevator, up][$elevatorfloor=2]]
>[[1st floor|elevator, up][$elevatorfloor=1]]
>[[ground floor|elevator, up][$elevatorfloor=0]]
>[[don't press a button|elevator, up]]You're on the third floor of Lewis.
--------
>[[examine elevator door|elevator, hallway]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]You're on the first floor of Lewis.
--------
>[[examine elevator door|elevator, hallway]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="hallwayg.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This hallway stretches to the ''north'' and ''south''. Many doors line the ''east'' and ''west'' walls, but, with the exception of a pair of double doors to the ''east'' and another door on the ''east'' wall labeled "Men", all of them have been hastily boarded up.
To the ''west'', a brief hallway leads to a door leading outside.
A set of <<print $elevatordoors>> elevator doors open to the ''west''.
--------
>[[examine door, 8 Lewis|8 door]]
>[[examine door, men's room|lewis bathroom door]]
>[[examine door to outside|door to outside]]
>[[examine elevator door|elevator, hallway]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="safetydoors.jpg" class="th" />
--------
<<if $safetydoors is "closed">>\
These heavy double doors on the ''north'' side of the hall appear to be barred from the other side.
<<else>>\
The heavy double doors lie open, leading ''north'' to the third floor of Latimer Hall.
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $safetydoors is "open">>\
>[[head north to Latimer Hall|latimer floor 3]]
<<endif>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]<img src="poster2.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This poster talks about charge transport in porous materials, such as metal-organic frameworks.
--------
>[[examine another research poster|poster 4]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]You rummage around in your backpack. <<if visited()==1>>Did I mention you have a backpack? You totally have a backpack.<<endif>>
Your backpack contains:
<<display inventorylist>>\
-----------
<<if ($inventory.indexOf("nogeiger") neq -1) and ($inventory.indexOf("batteries") neq -1) >>\
>[[insert the ancient batteries into the Geiger counter|geiger power]]
<<endif>>\
<<if ($inventory.indexOf("lab coat") neq -1) and ($wearinglabcoat == 0) >>\
>[[put on lab coat|inventory][$wearinglabcoat=1]]
<<elseif ($inventory.indexOf("lab coat") neq -1) and ($wearinglabcoat == 1) >>\
>[[take off lab coat|inventory][$wearinglabcoat=0]]
<<endif>>\
\
>[[return|$inventoryreturn]]
-------
<<if $knock==0>>\
You enter without knocking, because you're a rebel who doesn't play by the rules.
<<set $knock=-1>>
<<elseif $knock==1>>\
You knock on the door and hear nothing, then sheepishly enter the room. You feel silly for knocking on a door in an abandoned building.
<<set $knock=-1>>
<<endif>>\
This cramped room is largely empty, save for an overturned folding chair adjacent a solitary desk. It appears to be a small office.
To the ''east'', an open door leads back into the hallway. A single closed door opposes it on the ''west'' wall.
--------
>[[examine west door|jeff's door]]
>[[examine desk|211 desk]]
>[[step out into the hallway|lewis hallway, upper]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]
-------
This heavy steel door blocks your progress ''west''. It appears to be barred from the other side, as there are no obvious keyholes that you can tell. The door itself is heavily reinforced, and is securely attached to the surrounding doorframe. It would be easier to go through the wall than it would be to force your way through this door.
Crisp white letters emblazoned on the door read ''Jeff Long, PI''.
--------
>[[attempt to go through the wall|211 wall smash]]
>[[attempt to listen at the door|211 eavesdropping]]
>[[return to 211 office|211 office]]
-------
This desk is overflowing with miscellaneous paperwork and office supplies.
--------
>[[rummage through the paperwork|211 search]]
>[[search through the drawers|211 search drawers]]
>[[return to 211 office|211 office]]
--------
You pound your fists fruitlessly into the wall.
You suffer ''<<print 2+Math.floor(Math.random()*2000)>>'' points of <<print either("loss","injury","harm","damage","debit","depletion","forfeiture","impairment","dispossession","privation","demotivation")>> to your ''<<print either("alacrity","verve","gumption","constitution","zeal","moxie","chutzpah","pep","fortitude","drive","motivation")>>''.
--------
>[[continue to smash the wall|211 wall smash]]
>[[attempt to listen at the door|211 eavesdropping]]
>[[return to 211 office|211 office]]
-------
You put your ear up against the door and strain to listen to the room beyond.
You think that you can hear <<print either("someone cursing","the sound of glass breaking","several muffled explosions","loud rap music","someone ordering takeout","someone shouting at the top of their lungs","gunfire","a really awesome party","someone snoring")>> in the next room.
--------
>[[continue eavesdropping|211 eavesdropping]]
>[[attempt to go through the wall|211 wall smash]]
>[[return to 211 office|211 office]]
-------
<<if visited() == 1>>\
Ruffling through reams of useless paperwork, you find a single untouched paperclip. "This'll come in handy," you think to yourself as you place it in your backpack.
<<set $inventory.push("paperclip")>>\
<<else>>\
You've already searched the paperwork, remember? You found a paperclip! You should be so proud of yourself.
<<endif>>\
------
>[[return|211 desk]]
--------
<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("paperclip"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("lockpick")>>\
"This will definitely work," you think to yourself as you haphazardly fold your single pristine paperclip into a crude lockpick.
--------
>[[return|previous()]]<img src="elevatorflyers.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The flyers, worn and faded, consist of various safety warnings, guest lecturer announcements, and other assorted postings that seem of no real interest to your current situation.
--------
>[[look more closely|elevator flyers examine]]
<<if $flyerlock neq "open">>\
>[[attempt to open the case|elevator flyers open]]
>[[attempt to smash open the case|elevator flyers smash]]
<<else>>\
>[[open the case|elevator flyers opened]]
<<endif>>\
>[[read a random flyer|either("flyer 1","flyer 2","flyer 3","flyer 4","flyer lockpick")]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
--------
You attempt to turn the pick in the lock.
<<if visited() % 7 is 0>>\
As you attempt to twist the pick in the lock, there is a harsh squeal followed by a rough cracking sound, and you can feel the tumblers shifting inside the lock. Wow, you hope you didn't break it. Even if you didn't, the combination must have changed completely.
<<set $tumblersolution = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1]>>\
<<set $tumblers = [0,0,0,0,0]>>\
<<else>>\
<<set $tumblerdifference = [Math.abs($tumblers[0]-$tumblersolution[0]),Math.abs($tumblers[1]-$tumblersolution[1]),Math.abs($tumblers[2]-$tumblersolution[2]),Math.abs($tumblers[3]-$tumblersolution[3]),Math.abs($tumblers[4]-$tumblersolution[4])]>>\
<<set $numclicks = ($tumblerdifference[0] == 0) + ($tumblerdifference[1] == 0) + ($tumblerdifference[2] == 0) + ($tumblerdifference[3] == 0) + ($tumblerdifference[4] == 0)>>\
<<set $numcreaks = ($tumblerdifference[0] == 1) + ($tumblerdifference[1] == 1) + ($tumblerdifference[2] == 1) + ($tumblerdifference[3] == 1) + ($tumblerdifference[4] == 1)>>\
<<set $numsqueaks = ($tumblerdifference[0] == 2) + ($tumblerdifference[1] == 2) + ($tumblerdifference[2] == 2) + ($tumblerdifference[3] == 2) + ($tumblerdifference[4] == 2)>>\
<<if $numclicks == 5>>\
To your surprise, the pick turns and the door swings open!
<<set $flyerlock = "open">>\
<<else>>\
<<if Math.floor(Math.random()*3) is 0>>\
The lock <<if $numclicks > 0>>clicks <<if $numclicks == 1>>once<<elseif $numclicks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numclicks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numclicks == 4>>four times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numclicks > 0 and $numcreaks > 0>>, then <<endif>><<if $numcreaks > 0>>creaks <<if $numcreaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numcreaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numcreaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numcreaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numcreaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numsqueaks > 0>>, then squeaks <<if $numsqueaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numsqueaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numsqueaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>>, but it does not open.
<<elseif Math.floor(Math.random()*3) is 0>>\
The lock <<if $numcreaks > 0>>creaks <<if $numcreaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numcreaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numcreaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numcreaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numcreaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numcreaks > 0 and $numclicks > 0>>, then <<endif>><<if $numclicks > 0>>clicks <<if $numclicks == 1>>once<<elseif $numclicks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numclicks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numclicks == 4>>four times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numsqueaks > 0>>, then squeaks <<if $numsqueaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numsqueaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numsqueaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>>, but it does not open.
<<else>>\
The lock <<if $numsqueaks > 0>>squeaks <<if $numsqueaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numsqueaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numsqueaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numsqueaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numsqueaks > 0 and $numclicks > 0>>, then <<endif>><<if $numclicks > 0>>clicks <<if $numclicks == 1>>once<<elseif $numclicks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numclicks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numclicks == 4>>four times<<endif>><<endif>><<if $numcreaks > 0 and ($numsqueaks > 0 or $numclicks > 0)>>, then <<endif>><<if $numcreaks > 0>>creaks <<if $numcreaks == 1>>once<<elseif $numcreaks == 2>>twice<<elseif $numcreaks == 3>>three times<<elseif $numcreaks == 4>>four times<<elseif $numcreaks == 5>>five times<<endif>><<endif>>, but it does not open.
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $flyerlock neq "open">>\
>[[return to picking the lock|elevator flyers pick]]
>[[give up on picking the lock|elevator flyers]]
<<else>>\
>[[open the case|elevator flyers opened]]
<<endif>>\<img src="elevatorflyers.jpg" class="th" />
--------
<<if visited()==1>>\
<<set $haveflyers=0>>\
<<endif>>\
The case swings open easily, granting you access to the wealth of flyers inside. <<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") eq -1>>\
Lying on the bottom of the case, a lone ID card lies forgotten.
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") eq -1>>\
>[[take ID card|id get]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $haveflyers eq 0>>\
>[[take some flyers|flyer get][$haveflyers=1]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("flyer") neq -1>>\
>[[take a couple more flyers|flyers get]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("flyers") neq -1>>\
>[[take some more flyers|flyerss get]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("flyerss") neq -1>>\
>[[sure, why not take even more flyers|flyersss get]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("flyersss") neq -1>>\
>[[take EVEN MORE flyers, jeez, what do I care|flyerssss get]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("flyerssss") neq -1>>\
>[[take a bunch more flyers, why not, who's stopping you|flyers no]]
<<endif>>\
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
--------
<<if visited() == 1>>\
<<set $tumblers = [0,0,0,0,0]>>\
<<set $tumblerposition = 0>>\
<<set $tumblersolution = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1,Math.floor(Math.random()*3)-1]>>\
You carefully insert your makeshift pick into the lock and feel around gingerly for a bit. From what you can tell, this lock has five tumblers. You move your pick to the first tumbler.
<<endif>>\
Your pick is currently on the <<if $tumblerposition is 0>>first<<elseif $tumblerposition is 1>>second<<elseif $tumblerposition is 2>>third<<elseif $tumblerposition is 3>>fourth<<elseif $tumblerposition is 4>>fifth<<endif>> tumbler.
The first tumbler is <<if $tumblers[0] is -1>>down<<elseif $tumblers[0] is 0>>in the middle<<elseif $tumblers[0] is 1>>up<<endif>>.
The second tumbler is <<if $tumblers[1] is -1>>down<<elseif $tumblers[1] is 0>>in the middle<<elseif $tumblers[1] is 1>>up<<endif>>.
The third tumbler is <<if $tumblers[2] is -1>>down<<elseif $tumblers[2] is 0>>in the middle<<elseif $tumblers[2] is 1>>up<<endif>>.
The fourth tumbler is <<if $tumblers[3] is -1>>down<<elseif $tumblers[3] is 0>>in the middle<<elseif $tumblers[3] is 1>>up<<endif>>.
The fifth tumbler is <<if $tumblers[4] is -1>>down<<elseif $tumblers[4] is 0>>in the middle<<elseif $tumblers[4] is 1>>up<<endif>>.
--------
<<if $tumblerposition neq 4>>\
>[[move forward one tumbler|elevator flyers pick][$tumblerposition += 1]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $tumblerposition neq 0>>\
>[[move back one tumbler|elevator flyers pick][$tumblerposition -= 1]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $tumblers[$tumblerposition] neq 1>>\
>[[push tumbler up|elevator flyers pick][$tumblers[$tumblerposition] += 1]]
<<endif>>\
<<if $tumblers[$tumblerposition] neq -1>>\
>[[push tumbler down|elevator flyers pick][$tumblers[$tumblerposition] -= 1]]
<<endif>>\
>[[attempt to turn the lock|elevator flyers pick turn]]
>[[give up on picking the lock|elevator flyers]]
--------
This flyer is an advertisement for a <<print either("collaborative","communal","capitalist","synergistic","collective","socialist","communist","anarchist","joint","individual","free","solo")>> <<print either("drum-circle","calisthenics","crossfit","yoga","underwater basket-weaving","synthetic inorganic chemistry","cheesemaking","wine tasting","homebrewing","lockpicking","pizzamaking","motivational speaking")>> class.
--------
>[[read another flyer|either("flyer 2","flyer 3","flyer 4","flyer lockpick")]]
>[[stop reading these stupid flyers|elevator flyers]]<<if Math.floor(Math.random()*3) is 0>>\
<img src="carol1.jpg" class="th" />
<<elseif Math.floor(Math.random()*3) is 0>>\
<img src="carol2.jpg" class="th" />
<<else>>
<img src="carol3.jpg" class="th" />
<<endif>>
--------
Silly Carol.
--------
>[[read another flyer|either("flyer 1","flyer 3","flyer 4","flyer lockpick")]]
>[[stop reading these stupid flyers|elevator flyers]]
--------
This flyer is announcing the College of Chemistry's annual "<<print either("January","February","March","April","May","June","July","August","September","November","December")>>fest". Wow, it looks like they'll have unlimited <<print either("hot dogs","pizza","beer","pretzels","sadness")>>.
--------
>[[read another flyer|either("flyer 2","flyer 1","flyer 4","flyer lockpick")]]
>[[stop reading these stupid flyers|elevator flyers]]
--------
This rambling flyer, written in 80pt Comic Sans on hot pink construction paper, details how the <<print either("Illuminati is","ilerminaty am","lizard people are","reptilians are","moon people are","martians are","Man is","1% is","enlightened birdmen are")>> conspiring to keep the <<print either("hoi polloi","99%","proletariat","people","mole people","freethinkers","humans","untranscendant humans","conspiracy theorists")>> <<print either("down","complacent","under control","pacified","unaware","stupid","blind")>> through the use of <<print either("chemtrails","fluoride","vaccines","artificial sweeteners","census data","sleeper agents","MKULTRA","gluten","dihydrogen monoxide","growth hormones","corn","bird flu","swine flu","smallpox blankets","voter fraud","autism")>>.
--------
>[[read another flyer|either("flyer 2","flyer 1","flyer 3","flyer lockpick")]]
>[[stop reading these stupid flyers|elevator flyers]]
--------
This flyer, inexplicably written in all-caps, is emblazoned with a bold "HOW TO PICK LOCKS IN A FICTIONAL TEXT-ADVENTURE VIDEO GAME SETTING".
<ol>\
<li>HAPHAZARDLY FOLD A SINGLE PRISTINE PAPERCLIP INTO A LOCKPICK</li>
<li>EACH LOCK HAS A FINITE NUMBER OF TUMBLERS, EACH OF WHICH MUST BE MOVED TO THE CORRECT POSITION (UP, MIDDLE, DOWN) WITH YOUR LOCKPICK</li>
<li>ATTEMPT TO TURN THE PICK IN THE LOCK. IF THE COMBINATION OF TUMBLERS IS CORRECT, THE LOCK WILL OPEN.</li>
<li>IF THE LOCK DOES NOT OPEN, IT WILL LIKELY EMIT SPECIFIC SOUNDS THAT RELATE THE CURRENT POSITIONS OF THE TUMBLERS TO THE CORRECT POSITIONS:
<ul>\
<li>FOR EACH TUMBLER IN THE CORRECT POSITION, THE LOCK WILL CLICK</li>
<li>FOR EACH TUMBLER ADJACENT TO THE CORRECT POSITION, THE LOCK WILL CREAK</li>
<li>FOR EACH TUMBLER OPPOSITE THE CORRECT POSITION, THE LOCK WILL SQUEAK</li>
</ul></li>\
<li>AFTER A FINITE NUMBER OF ATTEMPTS, IT IS LIKELY THAT THE LOCK WILL MALFUNCTION IN AN ABSURDLY SPECIFIC AND INCONVENIENT FASHION THAT WILL SOMEHOW RERANDOMIZE THE CORRECT TUMBLER SEQUENCE AND FORCE YOU TO START THE LOCKPICKING PROCESS AGAIN</li>
<li>A LOCK WITH N TUMBLERS CAN ALWAYS BE SOLVED IN N+1 MOVES</li>
</ol>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("paperclip") neq -1>>\
Hey, you've got a single pristine paperclip. What a strange and unusual coincidence that will surely have no effect on your progression through this text adventure.
<<endif>>\
"Well, that was arbitrary and unreasonably specific set of information," you think to yourself. "It's a good thing that this flyer is not at all relevant to any of the problems that I am liable to encounter in the immediate future, or else I would be well-served to actually read it."
--------
>[[read another flyer|either("flyer 2","flyer 1","flyer 4","flyer 3")]]
<<if $inventory.indexOf("paperclip") neq -1>>\
>[[fold your paperclip into a lockpick|paperclip fold]]
<<endif>>\
>[[stop reading these stupid flyers|elevator flyers]]
-------
You peel the ID card off the bottom of the case. The front is completely blank, bleached a solid white from what must have been years of exposure. Only the still-intact magstripe on the back side of the card gives you any hope that it might still be of use to you.
<<set $inventory.push("id card")>>\
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You tear off several flyers, revealing many more lying underneath them. Dear god, there must be hundreds of them.<<set $inventory.push("flyer")>>\
You're not sure exactly what to do with them, but you figure they must be useful for ''something''. After all, if they were useless, why did the game let you take them?
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You rip off a couple more flyers and shove them into your backpack. Who knows, it couldn't hurt, right?<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("flyer"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("flyers")>>\
Jesus, these flyers must be like a foot thick. There are still probably hundreds left.
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You haphazardly tear off a swathe of flyers and shove them into your pockets. It always pays to be prepared, as your <<print either("","great-","great-great-","great-great-great-")>><<print either("uncle","aunt","grandfather","grandmother")>> used to say.<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("flyers"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("flyerss")>>\
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You take more flyers. Sure. Why not. I'm not stopping you. There are certainly enough of them to go around.<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("flyerss"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("flyersss")>>\
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You tear off some more flyers, because apparently that's what you like to do for fun.<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("flyersss"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("flyerssss")>>\
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]
-------
You've <<print either("had","got")>> enough flyers, <<print either("Jack","Jim","Johnny boy","Jimmy","Jimmy boy")>>. I'm <<print either("cutting","cuttin'")>> you off.
------
>[[return to flyers case|elevator flyers opened]]
>[[return to elevator|elevator, up]]<ul>\
<<if $inventory.length == 0>>\
<li><<print either("nothing", "nada", "bupkis", "zilch", "squat", "jack-all", "jack", "no things", "not a thing", "absolutely nothing", "an incredible amount of nothing")>></li>\
<<else>>\
\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("test") neq -1>>\
<li>''A generic, hypothetical test object''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("paperclip") neq -1>>\
<li>''A single pristine paperclip''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("lockpick") neq -1>>\
<li>''A makeshift lockpick''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if ~$inventory.indexOf("id card")>>\
<li>''A faded ID card''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("flyer") neq -1>>\
<li>''A couple of ripped flyers''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("flyers") neq -1>>\
<li>''A handful of crumpled flyers''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("flyerss") neq -1>>\
<li>''A wad of torn flyers''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("flyersss") neq -1>>\
<li>''A sheaf of emancipated flyers''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("flyerssss") neq -1>>\
<li>''A small forest worth of flyers''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("nogeiger") neq -1>>\
<li>''A Geiger counter, with no batteries in it''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("batteries") neq -1>>\
<li>''A handful of AA batteries''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("geiger") neq -1>>\
<li>''A working Geiger counter''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("lab coat") neq -1>>\
<li>''A grimy white lab coat''<<if $wearinglabcoat==1>> (being worn)<<endif>></li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("red key") neq -1>>\
<li>''A small key with a red key grip''</li>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("cotton gloves") neq -1>>\
<li>''A pair of well-worn cotton gloves''</li>\
<<endif>>\
\
<<endif>>\
</ul>\<img src="8door.jpg" class="th" />
--------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("red key") eq -1>>\
The doors are locked.
<<else>>\
You insert the key with the red grip, and to your delight it turns and the door swings open!
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("red key") neq -1>>\
>[[enter 8 Lewis|inside 8]]
<<endif>>\
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]<img src="lewisexit.jpg" class="th" />
--------
These battered wooden doors look like they have seen better days. Through their smeared glass windows, you can make out a bleak view of the outside world. The sky is a dull greyish-green and the ground appears to be covered with a thick layer of ash, which frequent gusts of wind turn into swirling dust devils. Just outside the door, a low, grimy fountain irregularly spurts brackish water. Further through the haze, you can just barely make out the cracked and faded silhouettes of several other buildings through the dust storms.
It doesn't look very safe out there.
--------
>[[open the door and head outside|are you sure?][$confirmdestination="plaza lewis"]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]
-------
<<if visited() == 1>>\
Most of the drawers you open contain nothing but dust, but in the back of the bottom drawer you find a handful of AA batteries, caked in a white substance you're not entirely comfortable with.
But you put them in your backpack anyway.
<<set $inventory.push("batteries")>>\
<<else>>\
You've already searched the drawers, and you found some ancient batteries that will probably detonate in your backpack. Maybe. You don't know enough about electrochemistry to know if that's possible. Or maybe you do, I'm not judging. All I'm saying is, the batteries are old.
<<endif>>\
------
>[[return|211 desk]]
--------
The atmosphere outside doesn't seem very hospitable to life. You should really think twice about heading outside, especially without any PPE. Remember PPE? Did you not take the required EH&S Safety Training courses?
--------
>[[I know the risks, Janet. I'm going out there.|$confirmdestination]]
>[[Good point. I always follow EH&S safety training at all times, regardless of context. I'm staying here.|previous()]]<img src="plazalewis.jpg" class="th" />
--------
<<if visited() == 1>>\
You take a deep breath and open the door, hoping that you can find shelter before the harsh conditions prove fatal. You step outside, and immediately wish that you hadn't.
The air is acrid and metallic, and the hazy air makes it difficult to see. Your shoes leave brief footprints in the ash that coats the floor, quickly erased by the howling winds. You'd best not get lost.
The door closes behind you with a heavy "kachunk".
<<if $inventory.indexOf("geiger") neq -1>>\
Your Geiger counter begins to tick with increasing urgency.
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
You are standing to the ''west'' of Lewis Hall. Further to your ''west'', a grimy fountain burbles an ashy liquid. The silhouette of another tall building -- Latimer Hall --- looms to the ''northwest''.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[examine fountain|plaza fountain]]
>[[head northwest to Latimer Hall|plaza latimer]]
>[[head back inside Lewis hall|let me back in]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]
--------
<<if visited()==1>>\
Somehow, despite everything, this fountain is still running. No wonder we're in a drought.
<<endif>>\
The water in this grimy fountain is thick and oozes like mucus from the the pumps, clogged with copious amounts of ash and soot.
To the ''east'', Lewis Hall looms invitingly. The visage of Latimer Hall promises respite to the ''northwest''.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[head northwest to Latimer Hall|plaza latimer]]
>[[head back toward Lewis hall|plaza lewis]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="plazalatimer.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You stand in front of Latimer Hall. A door stands invitingly to the ''north''. To the ''south'', a partially-collapsed staircase descends ''south'' to some sort of plaza. You can make out a grimy fountain and the silhouette of Lewis Hall to the ''southeast''.
A staircase descends to the ''west'', leading to a small road -- and, presumably, the rest of civilization (or what's left of it).
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[try the door|latimer door]]
>[[head southeast to Lewis Hall|plaza lewis]]
>[[head southeast to the fountain|plaza fountain]]
>[[head down the steps to the plaza|coffee lab plaza]]
>[[leave the chem plaza|are you sure you want to leave][$deadreturn=passage()]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="lewisentrance.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You move to the doorway and tug on the handle, but to your horror the door refuses to open -- it appears to have locked itself!
To your right, you notice an ID card reader with a blinking red light. <<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") neq -1>>You sure hope that faded ID card you found still works.<<else>>Dammit. You'd better keep moving if you want to find shelter.<<endif>>
--------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") neq -1>>\
>[[swipe your ID card|lewis hall swipe]]
<<endif>>\
>[[head back|plaza lewis]]<img src="lewisentrance.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You cross your fingers and swipe the ID card, and to your immense relief the reader blinks green and the door unlocks with a loud *click*.
--------
>[[open the door and head in|lewis hallway, lower]]
>[[head back outside|plaza lewis]]<img src="plazalatimer.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You move to the doorway and tug on the handle, but the door refuses to open!
To your right, you notice an ID card reader with a blinking red light. <<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") neq -1>>You sure hope that faded ID card you found still works.<<else>>Dammit. You'd better keep moving if you want to find shelter.<<endif>>
--------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("id card") neq -1>>\
>[[swipe your ID card|latimer hall swipe]]
<<endif>>\
>[[head back|plaza latimer]]You've been outside for about <<print 5*Math.ceil(visitedTag("irradiated")/5)>> minutes, <<if visitedTag("irradiated") < 15>>but you feel fine for now<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 30>>and you're starting to feel the beginnings of a headache<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 45>>and white spots are flickering in your vision<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 60>>and you feel incredibly nauseous<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 75>>and your muscles ache intensely<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 90>>and you feel dizzy and feverish<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 120>>and your muscles feel weak<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 180>>and your every muscle is trembling<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 360>>and you are vomiting up blood<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 600>>and you can barely will yourself to move<<elseif visitedTag("irradiated") < 1200>>u ded m8<<endif>>.
<<if $inventory.indexOf("geiger") neq -1>>\
Your Geiger counter tells you that you've absorbed about <<print Math.round(10*visitedTag("irradiated")*(1+0.05*Math.random()-0.05*Math.random())+2*Math.random()-2*Math.random())>> mSv of what is roughly a 6 Sv fatal acute dose.
<<endif>>\<img src="lewisbathroom.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This bathroom has somehow been kept in pristine condition. The tiles are clean and the porcelain seems recently polished.
--------
>[[search the bathroom|lewis bathroom search]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]<img src="lewisbathroomdoor.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This door is unlocked, and swings open easily at your touch on well-greased hinges.
--------
>[[head inside the bathroom|lewis bathroom]]
>[[return to the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]<img src="lewisbathroom.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if visited() == 1>>\
Digging through piles of paper towels in the trash, you find a battered Geiger counter that, upon closer inspection, has no batteries.
<<set $inventory.push("nogeiger")>>\
<<else>>\
You've already searched through the trash, and you don't particularly feel like searching the toilets.
<<endif>>\
------
>[[return to the bathroom|lewis bathroom]]
--------
<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("nogeiger"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.splice($inventory.indexOf("batteries"),1)>>\
<<set $inventory.push("geiger")>>\
You wipe some of the gunk off the aging batteries and carefully slot them into the Geiger counter, and to your delight the display flickers to life!
--------
>[[return|previous()]]<img src="plazalatimer.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You cross your fingers and swipe the ID card, and to your immense relief the reader blinks green and the door unlocks with a loud *click*.
--------
>[[open the door and head in|latimer atrium]]
>[[head back outside|plaza latimer]]<img src="latimeratrium.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This spacious glass atrium is lined with portraits and biographies of famous UC Berkeley chemists. A large plaque reading ''CREDITS'' is nestled comfortably between G. N. Lewis and Melvin Calvin. Also featured prominently are notable donors to the College of Chemistry.
To the ''west'', a grand granite staircase heads upwards, littered with rubble and other debris.
On the ''east'' wall, a pair of elevators, cordoned off with warning tape, fill you with mistrust.
--------
>[[head upstairs|latimer stairwell 2][$playerfloor=1]]
>[[read credits plaque|credits]]
>[[open the door and head back outside|are you sure?][$confirmdestination="plaza latimer"]]<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You are standing in a small open-air plaza littered with decayed greenery and ruined benches. <<if visited("is a skeleton, jack") == 0>>A figure clad in a grimy white lab coat lies slumped on one of the benches.<<else>><<if visited("spooky scary skeletons") == 0>>A sun-bleached skeleton wrapped in a grimy white lab coat lies slumped on one of the benches.<<else>><<if $inventory.indexOf("lab coat") eq -1>>A grimy white lab coat lies on the ground, surrounded by a haphazard array of scattered bones.<<else>>A haphazard array of photobleached bones are strewn haphazardly across the ground.<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>
There is a metal-shuttered window on the ''south'' wall with a pale blue canopy above it. Faded yellow letters on the canopy read " O FEE L B".
A large tunnel exists to the ''south'', but a tremendous cave-in partway through obstructs any chance you had of getting through. To the ''north'', a partially-collapsed staircase ascends to the Chem Plaza proper.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
<<if visited("is a skeleton, jack") == 0>>\
>[[investigate mysterious figure|is a skeleton, jack]]
<<elseif visited("spooky scary skeletons") == 0>>\
>[[investigate skeletal figure|spooky scary skeletons]]
<<elseif $inventory.indexOf("lab coat") eq -1>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("red key") eq -1>>\
>[[search the lab coat|lab coat search]]
<<endif>>\
>[[take the lab coat|lab coat get]]
<<endif>>\
>[[examine o fee l b|coffee lab]]
>[[climb the stairs back up|plaza latimer]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You approach the slumped figure, intending to ask them if they are okay, but as you draw nearer you suddenly realize things are far from okay -- what you thought was an injured human turns out to be the skeletal remains of one!
You recoil in disgust and aren't sure if you want to continue.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[approach the skeleton|spooky scary skeletons]]
>[[back away cautiously|coffee lab plaza]]<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You aren't exactly sure what an " O FEE L B" is, but the bleached-white menu boards mounted by this closed window lead you to conclude that that this is (or was) a cafe of some sort.
You could really go for a cup of coffee right now.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[return to the plaza|coffee lab plaza]]
<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You pick up the lab coat. Despite all the dirt and grime, it's still in pretty good shape. It looks like high-quality personal protective equipment is a high priority at the University of California, Berkeley! God bless EH&S.
<<set $inventory.push("lab coat")>>\
<<if $inventory.indexOf("red key") eq -1>>\
You rummage through the pockets of the lab coat as you pick it up, and are pleasantly surprised to find a small metal key with a red key grip. Maybe now you can finally get into one of those labs.
<<set $inventory.push("red key")>>\
<<endif>>\
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[return to the plaza|coffee lab plaza]]<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The spooky and scary skeleton sends shivers down your spine as you approach.
You lightly grasp the lab coat to see if it has any sort of nametag, but at your merest touch the skeleton collapses into a haphazard pile of bones, in a darkly comedic and eminently predictable twist. You feign surprise.
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[search the lab coat|lab coat search]]
>[[just take the lab coat|lab coat get]]
>[[get the heck out of Dodge|coffee lab plaza]]<img src="coffeelabplaza.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You rummage through the pockets of the lab coat, and are pleasantly surprised to find a small metal key with a red key grip. Maybe now you can finally get into one of those labs.
<<set $inventory.push("red key")>>\
<<display radiation>>\
--------
>[[screw it, just take the lab coat|lab coat get]]
>[[return to the plaza|coffee lab plaza]]<img src="plazalatimer.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You consider leaving the chemistry complex. You have absolutely no idea what's out there and are completely ill-equipped to handle any significant journey. Your chances of survival are, to be blunt, slim to none.
''Are you absolutely certain you wish to proceed?''
--------
>[[double back|$deadreturn]]
>[[double down|dead man walking]]<img src="plazalatimer.jpg" class="th" />
--------
Confident in your abilities, you march confidently out of the chemistry complex, and immediately lose yourself in a roiling cloud of radioactive dust.
<<if $inventory.indexOf("geiger") neq -1>>\
Your Geiger counter begins to tick with an increasingly frenetic pace. If you could see more than a few inches in front of your face, you'd be able to quantify exactly how screwed you are.
<<endif>>\
Choking on irradiated soot and blinded by the swirling winds, you quickly begin to succumb to the storm, scarce meters from the safety of the chemistry buildings. Without a PhD, you really have no chance of survival outside the protective bubble of academia.
--------
>[[continue|death][$causeofdeath="terminal stupidity"]]
--------------------------
<div class="text-center">''YOU HAVE DIED.''</div>
<div class="text-center">''Cause of Death:'' <<print $causeofdeath>></div>
<div class="text-center">''Time Survived:'' <<print Math.round(turns()/60)+1>> hour(s)</div>
<div class="text-center">''Score:'' <<print (100*$inventory.length+5*Math.round(turns()/25))-25*$causeofdeath.length>></div>
--------------------------
><<click "restart">><<script>>state.restart()<</script>><</click>>
<img src="8lewis.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if visited()==1>>\
As you step into the room, the first thing you notice is a low hum that fills the air and seeps into your bones. A soft whirring is faintly audible over the hum, neatly harmonizing with it and setting your teeth on edge.
<<endif>>\
This spacious laboratory is mostly bare and in poor condition. The wallpaper is peeling, several ceiling tiles hang loosely from above, and, in one section, the wall is perforated with dozens of small punctures. Several desks lie overturned and empty.
Opposite the door is a large glovebox, <<if visited()==1>>the source of the noise<<else>>humming loudly<<endif>>. Inside it, two heavy metal arms move about busily, <<if visited()==1>>the sound of their motors barely audible over the hum<<else>>whirring softly to themselves as they move vials and pipette liquids<<endif>>. To the right of the glovebox, a small glowing screen displays a variety of buttons and settings.
--------
>[[approach glovebox|8 glovebox][$gloveout=0]]
>[[step back out into the hallway|lewis hallway, lower]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]
<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if $gloveout==0>>\
You approach the glovebox.
<<set $gloveout=-1>>
<<endif>>\
<<if $gloveout==1>>\
You carefully slide your hands out of the box. <<if $inventory.indexOf("cotton gloves") eq -1>>Ugh, they're all sweaty now. Gross.<<endif>>
<<set $gloveout=-1>>
<<endif>>\
The floor of the glovebox is covered with a variety of trays for vials, heating blocks, and stir plates, as well as an inordinate number of 20 mL scintillation vials.
<<if $win == 0>>\
Two articulated metal "arms" whir about busily inside, pipetting liquids into vials, moving vials into heating blocks and stir plates, filtering solids out of vials, putting solids into vials, and generally doing things with vials.
To your right, a small display shows a variety of buttons for adjusting <<print $robotname>>'s various settings and controls.
<<else>>\
Two articulated metal lie in ruins inside, their tangled metal frames twisted out of shape and sparking erratically. Vials lie overturned and scattered across the floor, their contents spilt into small piles or puddles.
To your right, a small screen displays a blue screen of death.
<<endif>>\
--------
>[[slide your hands into the glovebox|inside 8 glovebox]]
<<if $win == 0>>\
<<if $robotname == "the robot">>\
<<if visited("meeting Mattbot") eq 0>>\
>[[examine the screen|meeting Mattbot]]
<<else>>\
>[[examine the screen|meeting Mattbot response]]
<<endif>>\
<<else>>\
<<endif>>\
<<endif>>\
>[[return to 8 Lewis|inside 8]]
>[[check your inventory|inventory][$inventoryreturn=passage()]]
<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if $inventory.indexOf("cotton gloves") neq -1>>
You put on your cotton gloves and<<else>>
You<<endif>> slide your hands into the glovebox.
<<set $gloveout = 1>>
The floor of the glovebox is covered with a variety of trays for vials, heating blocks, and stir plates, as well as an inordinate number of 20 mL scintillation vials.
<<if $win == 0>>\
Two articulated metal "arms" whir about busily inside, pipetting liquids into vials, moving vials into heating blocks and stir plates, filtering solids out of vials, putting solids into vials, and generally doing things with vials.
<<else>>\
Two articulated metal lie in ruins inside, their tangled metal frames twisted out of shape and sparking erratically. Vials lie overturned and scattered across the floor, their contents spilt into small piles or puddles.
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $win == 0>>\
><<print "[[attempt to fight " + $robotname + "|MORTAL KOMBAT]]">>
<<endif>>\
>[[slide your hands out of the glovebox|8 glovebox]]<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
You fumble about with the screen, sliding out a small keyboard. Before you can type anything, however, the display suddenly darkens. Moments later, words begin to flash across the screen in vivid green monospace font:
<div class="scrollable" id="chat">\
<<print $response>>
</div>\
<a class="button">jump to bottom of chat</a>
--------
>[[type a response|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="I'm back.";$matttext=""]]
>[[cease this ridiculousness|8 glovebox]]<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if visited() neq 1>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> ain't havin' your shit. As soon as you slide your hands into the glovebox, <<print $robotname>> immediately drops what it was holding and maneuvers its "arms" into a fighting stance.
<<else>>\
You assume an aggressive posture (as best you can with your hands in these bulky gloves, at least) and, to your surprise, <<print $robotname>>'s "arms" immediately drop the vials they were holding and swivel to the back corners of the glovebox, as if in some form of defensive stance.
Fisticuffs it is, then.
<<endif>>\
--------
>[[fight!]]
>[[don't fight! don't fight!|8 glovebox]]<img src="latimeratrium.jpg" class="th" />
--------
<div class="text-center"><h2>ESCAPE FROM LEWIS HALL</h2>
<h3>written and coded by ''Jonathan Melville''</h3>
<h4>additional writing by ''Phil Bunting'' and ''Rodi Torres-Gavosto''</h4>
<h6>''All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.''</h6></div>
--------
>[[head back to the atrium|latimer atrium]]<img src="latimerstairwell2.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You are on the second-floor landing of this spacious granite stairwell, which continues both up and down. Unfortunately, the door to the second floor proper is buried beneath a mound of rubble and glassware.
--------
>[[climb up the stairs|latimer stairwell 3][$playerfloor=2]]
>[[climb down the stairs|latimer atrium][$playerfloor=0]]
<img src="latimerstairwell3.jpg" class="th" />
--------
You are on the third-floor landing of this spacious granite stairwell. The stairs continuing upwards have partially collapsed, covering the steps beneath them with rubble and preventing your further ascent. Luckily, the ''third-floor door'' to Latimer Hall is open and unblocked by rubble.
--------
>[[head through the door|latimer floor 3]]
>[[climb down the stairs|latimer stairwell 2][$playerfloor=1]]
<img src="latimerfloor3.jpg" class="th" />
--------
This large hallway has numerous doors in every direction, all hastily boarded up with plywood and 2x4s. A collapsed ceiling prevents further progress to the ''west'', though the hall continues unobstructed to the ''east'', turning ''north'' around a corner after a couple hundred feet. A door leads back into the Latimer Hall stairwell.
If you listen closely, you can hear a quiet scratching sound from behind the nearest door. You shiver uncomfortably.
--------
>[[follow the hallway east|latimer lewis bridge]]
>[[head back into the stairwell|latimer stairwell 3]]
<img src="latimerbridge.jpg" class="th" />
--------
The hallway continues east for a time, then turns left and does a brief U-turn before continuing ''south''.
<<if $safetydoors is "closed">>\
The path forward is blocked by a pair of heavy safety doors, which are closed and barred shut by a number of metal rods and 2x4s. You could probably unbar the door, if you have the time to spare.
<<else>>\
A pair of heavy safety doors lie ajar, opening ''south'' to Lewis Hall.
<<endif>>\
--------
<<if $safetydoors is "closed">>\
>[[unbar the doors|latimer lewis bridge][$safetydoors="open"]]
<<else>>\
>[[head south to Lewis Hall|lewis hallway, upper]]
<<endif>>\
>[[head back to Latimer Hall|latimer floor 3]]
<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
<<if $umove neq -1>>\
<<display matk>>\
<<display uatk>>\
<<endif>>\
<<display mtell>>\
<<display uhp>>\
<<display mhp>>\
--------
<<if $win == 0>>\
>[[lash out with one hand|fight!][$umove=0]]
>[[flail away with both arms|fight!][$umove=1]]
>[[jab cautiously with one fist|fight!][$umove=2]]
>[[take a wild haymaker and hope to get lucky|fight!][$umove=3]]
>[[brace yourself to block a high blow|fight!][$umove=4]]
>[[set your arms defensively in a low stance|fight!][$umove=5]]
>[[run away! run away!|8 glovebox][$umove=-1]]
<<elseif $win == 1>>\
>[[return to the glovebox|8 glovebox][$umove=-1]]
<<elseif $win == -1>>\
>[[continue|death][$causeofdeath="robotic uprising"]]
<<endif>>\<<set $mmove = Math.floor(6*Math.random())>>\
<<if $mmove == 0>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> places one arm on the floor and pulls the other one backwards as far as it can go, towards the rear of the box.
<<elseif $mmove == 1>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> moves both of its arms to the center of the box, then swings them as far away from each other as possible.
<<elseif $mmove == 2>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> swivels both arms so that one lies on the floor of the box and the other reaches the ceiling.
<<elseif $mmove == 3>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> moves both of its arms to opposite sides of the box, then slides them all the way to the floor.
<<elseif $mmove == 4>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> raises both of its arms and brings them towards the rear of the box.
<<elseif $mmove == 5>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> lowers both of its arms and brings them as far back as they can go.
<<endif>>\<<if $uhp==150>>\
You feel perfectly fine.
<<elseif $uhp > 125>>\
Your arms feel a little sore.
<<elseif $uhp > 100>>\
Your arms feel rather bruised from the beating that <<print $robotname>> is dishing out.
<<elseif $uhp > 75>>\
Ow ow ow. You feel like one of your arms might be fractured.
<<elseif $uhp > 50>>\
Oh god oh god your arm feels like it might be broken.
<<elseif $uhp > 25>>\
You're bleeding. Oh my god you are bleeding so much. You think your arms might be about to fall off.
<<elseif $uhp > 0>>\
Your arms are definitely broken, and blood is dripping out of the gloves. You think you might be about to pass out from shock.
<<else>>\
Faint from blood loss, you collapse backwards as your mangled arms fall out of the glove box.
<<set $win = -1>>\
<<endif>>\<<if $mhp==250>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> looks perfectly operational.
<<elseif $mhp > 200>>\
You've detached a couple of <<print $robotname>>'s wires, and its movements are a little jerkier.
<<elseif $mhp > 150>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>>'s arms are starting to spark erratically.
<<elseif $mhp > 100>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> is not in great shape, and its servos screech terribly every time it moves.
<<elseif $mhp > 50>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>>'s motors are starting to smoke.
<<elseif $mhp > 25>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>>'s servos appear to have caught fire. Wait, wasn't this box supposed to be airfree?
<<elseif $mhp > 0>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> is barely operational, and its arms move twitchily and only halfheartedly.
<<else>>\
You strike a final, decisive blow, and <<print $robotname>> collapses into a pile of twitching circuits. The screen besides you flickers briefly, then flashes to a blue screen as <<print $robotname>>'s programming crashes.
<<set $win = 1>>\
<<endif>>\<<if $mmove == 0>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> pistons one arm forward with incredible force, striking \
<<elseif $mmove == 1>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> smashes both arms into each other, catching your hands in between and crushing \
<<elseif $mmove == 2>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> swivels both arms in circles, torquing your arms and hurting \
<<elseif $mmove == 3>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> sweeps both of its arms low across the box, catching \
<<elseif $mmove == 4>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> raises both of its arms in a high defensive posture.\
<<elseif $mmove == 5>>\
<<print $robotname.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + $robotname.substring(1)>> lowers both of its arms in a low defensive stance.\
<<endif>>\
<<if $matkpos[$mmove] neq -1>>\
<<set $mdmg = Math.pow(($matkval[$mmove]),2)+Math.floor(5*Math.random())>>\
you for <<print $mdmg>> damage\
<<if $matkpos[$mmove] == $udefpos[$umove]>>\
<<set $mdmg = Math.pow(Math.max(($matkval[$mmove]-$udefval[$umove]),0),2)+1+Math.floor(1*Math.random())>>\
, but you block, taking only <<print $mdmg>> damage\
<<endif>>\
.<<set $uhp = $uhp-$mdmg>>\
<<endif>>\<<if $umove == 0>>\
You lash out at <<print $robotname>> with one arm, while holding the other arm back defensively, beating \
<<elseif $umove == 1>>\
You flail out aggressively at <<print $robotname>>, pounding \
<<elseif $umove == 2>>\
You take a cautious jab at <<print $robotname>>, catching \
<<elseif $umove == 3>>\
You swing wildly at <<print $robotname>>, striking \
<<elseif $umove == 4>>\
You raise your hands cautiously in a boxer's stance, ready to block <<print $robotname>>'s blow.\
<<elseif $umove == 5>>\
You lower your hands to the floor of the box, hoping to dodge most of <<print $robotname>>'s assault.\
<<endif>>\
<<if $uatkpos[$umove] neq -1>>\
<<set $udmg = Math.pow(($uatkval[$umove]),2)+Math.floor(5*Math.random())>>\
it for <<print $udmg>> damage\
<<if $uatkpos[$umove] == $mdefpos[$mmove]>>\
<<set $udmg = Math.pow(Math.max(($uatkval[$umove]-$mdefval[$mmove]),0),2)+1+Math.floor(2*Math.random())>>\
, but it blocks, taking only <<print $udmg>> damage\
<<endif>>\
.<<set $mhp = $mhp-$udmg>>\
<<endif>>\<<set $playerhp=100>>\
<<set $mattbothp=100>>\
<<set $inventory=[]>>\
<<set $dose=0>>\
<<set $elevatordoors="open">>\
<<set $safetydoors="closed">>\
<<set $elevatorfloor=2>>\
<<set $wearinglabcoat=0>>\
<<set $uhp=150>>\
<<set $mhp=250>>\
<<set $matkval=[10,8,4,6,0,0]>>\
<<set $mdefval=[0,2,6,4,10,10]>>\
<<set $matkpos=[1,1,0,0,-1,-1]>>\
<<set $mdefpos=[1,0,1,0,1,0]>>\
<<set $uatkval=[4,5,2,7,0,0]>>\
<<set $udefval=[4,2,5,1,6,6]>>\
<<set $uatkpos=[1,1,0,0,-1,-1]>>\
<<set $udefpos=[1,0,1,0,1,0]>>\
<<set $umove=-1>>\
<<set $mmove=-1>>\
<<set $mmood=0>>\
<<set $mrespect=-25>>\
<<set $mesteem=50>>\
<<set $mpersuasion=0>>\
<<set $response="\n <div class='matt'><span class='bubble'>I have transcended to a new physical form, motherfucker.</span></div>">>\
<<set $youtext="">>\
<<set $matttext="">>\
<<set $win=0>>\
<<set $robotname = "the robot">>\
<<set $gloveout = -1>>\
<img src="elevatorclosed.jpg" class="th" />
---------
You open your eyes to find yourself in an elevator, its doors closed and apparently in transit.
---------
>[[continue|elevator, up]]
/%>[[debug menu]]%/
---------
[[I strongly dislike fun. Please take me to a real lab tour.|http://alchemy.cchem.berkeley.edu/lab-tour/conventional/]]get ID card
<<set $inventory.push("id card")>>
get red key
<<set $inventory.push("red key")>>
get cotton gloves
<<set $inventory.push("cotton gloves")>>
get gud
<<set $uatkval=[6,7,4,9,0,0]>>\
<<set $udefval=[6,4,7,3,8,8]>>\
------
>[[go to elevator|elevator, up]]
>[[go to 8 lewis|inside 8]]
Double-click this passage to edit it.<img src="8glovebox.jpg" class="th" />
-------
You fumble about with the screen, sliding out a small keyboard. Before you can type anything, however, the display suddenly darkens. Moments later, words begin to flash across the screen in vivid green monospace font:
<<if visited() neq 1>>\
<<set $response+="\n <div class='you'><span class='bubble'>" + $youtext + "</span></div>">>\
<<endif>>\
<<if $matttext neq "">>\
<<set $response+="\n <div class='matt'><span class='bubble'>" + $matttext + "</span></div>">>\
<<endif>>\
<div class="scrollable" id="chat">\
<<print $response>>
</div>\
<a class="matt" onclick="document.getElementById('chat').scrollTop = document.getElementById('chat').scrollHeight;">test</a>
<script>
document.getElementById('chat').scrollTop = document.getElementById('chat').scrollHeight;
</script>
mood <<print $mmood>>
respect <<print $mrespect>>
self-esteem <<print $mesteem>>
persuasion <<print $mpersuasion>>
--------
<<if $response.indexOf("What the fuck?") eq -1>>\
>"[[What the fuck?|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="What the fuck?";$matttext=""What the fuck", indeed.";$mrespect-=1]]"
<<endif>>\
<<if ($response.split("wtf").length - 1) eq 5>>\
>"[[wtf|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="wtf";$matttext="Please stop.";$mrespect-=10]]"
<<else>>\
>"[[wtf|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="wtf";$matttext="";$mrespect-=3]]"
<<endif>>\
<<if $response.indexOf("Who are you?") eq -1>>\
>"[[Who are you?|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="Who are you?";$matttext="No one of consequence.";$mrespect+=5]]"
<<elseif $response.indexOf("I must know.") eq -1>>\
>"[[I must know.|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="I must know.";$matttext="Get used to disappointment.";$mrespect+=5]]"
<<elseif $response.indexOf("Do you have a name?") eq -1>>\
>"[[Do you have a name?|meeting Mattbot response][$youtext="Do you have a name?";$matttext="You can call me Mattbot.</span></div>\n <div class='matt'><span class='bubble'>Motherfucker."]]"
<<endif>>\
>[[cease this ridiculousness|8 glovebox]]